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Post by lulu on Jan 14, 2020 13:45:52 GMT
Time for a moan.
I’ve never had a penny from DD1s dad.
He had a lot of debt I accidentally discovered when we were together (like £11,000!!) that I paid off to prevent losing the house.
He never paid me back once we split and left me with huge loans. I was broke and had to turn off our hot water as couldn’t afford it and a warrant was issued to seize our electricity metre. It was desperate times but I survived on my own.
We don’t need ££ from him now and I know financially I’m in a really good position due to DH job.
Her dad however doesn’t even provide a roof for her - he lives with his parents and pays no bills and they buy all the food.
Now - I’ve been poor. I’m not stuck up and I get how hard it is when time’s are tough. I’ve never once said to DD1 anything about money or getting nothing from him as it’s irrelevant. I’m glad we provide for her. That’s my business.
But, he should provide in other ways - like time, or helping out with driving her to and from clubs.
DD1 goes to netball on Tuesdays in the city where her school is. DS has swimming in a different town. Both finish at half four. I asked him to help out by collecting her. Got a big fat no as he’s at the job centre on Tuesdays 😳.
So now, DD1 has to wait until I’ve finished at swimming, I need to drive and get her (it’s a 45 min drive in rush hour traffic) then I need to drive back through the traffic to get home.
Meaning - we all don’t get home until 6:30pm and I still need to do tea for the kids.
Prick.
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Post by lulu on Jan 14, 2020 14:46:24 GMT
Sorry for the long rambling.
Just pick your daughter up once a week it’s not hard. You are unemployed and live with your mum. I’m busy running around like a lunatic.
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Post by mary97 on Jan 14, 2020 14:58:32 GMT
lulu, don't apologize, you have every right to ramble, scream, whatever you need to do over a simple request of asking a father to do something for his daughter.
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Post by rainbowsockmonkey on Jan 14, 2020 14:58:58 GMT
lulu do his parents drive, and could they help with picking up Dd1?
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Post by microworm on Jan 14, 2020 17:12:19 GMT
Haven't read but hiiii. I've been meaning to catch up but then something comes up. But I had a weird dream last night that I must share. meggypoo1 showed up while I was at church (wtf I don't even go to church) completely beside herself. Balling. She tried to explain but couldn't get it out and left. Then I checked the board and she said that she missed me so much that she transferred me $3000 to pay off some debt or large purchase (unclear) but then forgot to put a note that is was from her and now she was having second thoughts and figured I would just keep it even if she asked me to return. Interpretations, and go. |
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Post by athena on Jan 14, 2020 17:35:52 GMT
I'm lol-ing microworm. I have no interpretations, but that is a very sweet and ridiculous thing for dream meggypoo1 to do. |
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Post by lulu on Jan 14, 2020 18:47:12 GMT
Haven't read but hiiii. I've been meaning to catch up but then something comes up. But I had a weird dream last night that I must share. meggypoo1 showed up while I was at church (wtf I don't even go to church) completely beside herself. Balling. She tried to explain but couldn't get it out and left. Then I checked the board and she said that she missed me so much that she transferred me $3000 to pay off some debt or large purchase (unclear) but then forgot to put a note that is was from her and now she was having second thoughts and figured I would just keep it even if she asked me to return. Interpretations, and go. 😂😂😂 |
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Post by meggypoo1 on Jan 14, 2020 19:17:55 GMT
Haven't read but hiiii. I've been meaning to catch up but then something comes up. But I had a weird dream last night that I must share. meggypoo1 showed up while I was at church (wtf I don't even go to church) completely beside herself. Balling. She tried to explain but couldn't get it out and left. Then I checked the board and she said that she missed me so much that she transferred me $3000 to pay off some debt or large purchase (unclear) but then forgot to put a note that is was from her and now she was having second thoughts and figured I would just keep it even if she asked me to return. Interpretations, and go. Lol, wut?! Dream me is too nice. Except for taking it back. That’s weird. |
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Post by lulu on Jan 14, 2020 19:57:15 GMT
microworm - the dream clearly shows how much you are missing us 😊
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Post by microworm on Jan 14, 2020 20:02:01 GMT
microworm - the dream clearly shows how much you are missing us 😊 Yes, I think so! |
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Post by lulu on Jan 14, 2020 20:05:06 GMT
lulu do his parents drive, and could they help with picking up Dd1? They do drive and I’m sure they would help. However.... They retired just before we separated and all of a sudden were landed with their adult son with huge mental health issues and his 4 year old. He’s now nearly 50 and still there. They have pretty much been parents to her as he is incapable of functioning at most things. I actually met his mum randomly before Christmas and took the child free opportunity to say to her I’m sorry she got re-landed with him all those years ago and how appreciative DH and I are that she looks after DD1. I said she’s like a step-mum as well as a grandma and I don’t know what I would’ve done without her to keep DD1 safe and cared for when she’s at her dads. She’s a really lovely woman who has done so much for DD1. I don’t want to ask anymore of her. |
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Post by meggypoo1 on Jan 14, 2020 20:36:37 GMT
microworm - the dream clearly shows how much you are missing us 😊 Or maybe just me 💁🏻♀️  |
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Post by cattitude on Jan 15, 2020 13:14:10 GMT
Haven't read but hiiii. I've been meaning to catch up but then something comes up. But I had a weird dream last night that I must share. meggypoo1 showed up while I was at church (wtf I don't even go to church) completely beside herself. Balling. She tried to explain but couldn't get it out and left. Then I checked the board and she said that she missed me so much that she transferred me $3000 to pay off some debt or large purchase (unclear) but then forgot to put a note that is was from her and now she was having second thoughts and figured I would just keep it even if she asked me to return. Interpretations, and go. Lol do you owe anyone a lotta money? |
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Post by microworm on Jan 15, 2020 13:15:36 GMT
Haven't read but hiiii. I've been meaning to catch up but then something comes up. But I had a weird dream last night that I must share. meggypoo1 showed up while I was at church (wtf I don't even go to church) completely beside herself. Balling. She tried to explain but couldn't get it out and left. Then I checked the board and she said that she missed me so much that she transferred me $3000 to pay off some debt or large purchase (unclear) but then forgot to put a note that is was from her and now she was having second thoughts and figured I would just keep it even if she asked me to return. Interpretations, and go. Lol do you owe anyone a lotta money? Nope |
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Post by cattitude on Jan 15, 2020 13:16:36 GMT
Sorry for the long rambling. Just pick your daughter up once a week it’s not hard. You are unemployed and live with your mum. I’m busy running around like a lunatic. Yeah he can take her once/ week or he can pay child support. Those are the two options. |
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Post by cattitude on Jan 15, 2020 13:17:18 GMT
Lol do you owe anyone a lotta money? Nope I think the interpretation is you need us and we need you and you should check in when you can! |
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Post by cattitude on Jan 15, 2020 13:22:45 GMT
@susanoutloud how is the anxiety going?
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Post by cattitude on Jan 15, 2020 13:25:29 GMT
So my kid got his formal diagnoses yesterday of ADHD and anxiety. We go to discuss meds next week for the adhd and I’ve been calling around to find a pediatric therapist that he would see for the anxiety. We are taking a break from occupational therapy (for the sensory issues with clothing and food) as he seems to be doing a lot better with those things from what the therapy had us implement.
He’s just a little ball of emotional dysfunction.
We meet with the school to help formalize an IEP as well. Luckily he is still average in all his school subjects but it’s gonna get harder and I want a good plan before it does.
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Post by activebaby on Jan 15, 2020 13:57:21 GMT
So my kid got his formal diagnoses yesterday of ADHD and anxiety. We go to discuss meds next week for the adhd and I’ve been calling around to find a pediatric therapist that he would see for the anxiety. We are taking a break from occupational therapy (for the sensory issues with clothing and food) as he seems to be doing a lot better with those things from what the therapy had us implement. He’s just a little ball of emotional dysfunction. We meet with the school to help formalize an IEP as well. Luckily he is still average in all his school subjects but it’s gonna get harder and I want a good plan before it does. You are a good mom. |
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Post by athena on Jan 15, 2020 14:12:15 GMT
So my kid got his formal diagnoses yesterday of ADHD and anxiety. We go to discuss meds next week for the adhd and I’ve been calling around to find a pediatric therapist that he would see for the anxiety. We are taking a break from occupational therapy (for the sensory issues with clothing and food) as he seems to be doing a lot better with those things from what the therapy had us implement. He’s just a little ball of emotional dysfunction. We meet with the school to help formalize an IEP as well. Luckily he is still average in all his school subjects but it’s gonna get harder and I want a good plan before it does. Glad you got your formal dx. Best of luck with everything going forward |
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Post by cattitude on Jan 15, 2020 14:35:26 GMT
So my kid got his formal diagnoses yesterday of ADHD and anxiety. We go to discuss meds next week for the adhd and I’ve been calling around to find a pediatric therapist that he would see for the anxiety. We are taking a break from occupational therapy (for the sensory issues with clothing and food) as he seems to be doing a lot better with those things from what the therapy had us implement. He’s just a little ball of emotional dysfunction. We meet with the school to help formalize an IEP as well. Luckily he is still average in all his school subjects but it’s gonna get harder and I want a good plan before it does. You are a good mom. Thanks. We go for parenting classes for this in March as well. |
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Post by lecky on Jan 15, 2020 14:48:12 GMT
I'm glad you guys have an answer and a plan for moving forward cattitude. |
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Post by meggypoo1 on Jan 15, 2020 14:51:20 GMT
Glad you got some answers for him cattitude. You’re awesome for being his voice and doing all that you do! |
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Post by mrscheese on Jan 15, 2020 15:54:56 GMT
So my kid got his formal diagnoses yesterday of ADHD and anxiety. We go to discuss meds next week for the adhd and I’ve been calling around to find a pediatric therapist that he would see for the anxiety. We are taking a break from occupational therapy (for the sensory issues with clothing and food) as he seems to be doing a lot better with those things from what the therapy had us implement. He’s just a little ball of emotional dysfunction. We meet with the school to help formalize an IEP as well. Luckily he is still average in all his school subjects but it’s gonna get harder and I want a good plan before it does. Glad for answers. I hope the meds and iep stuff goes well. |
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Post by mrscheese on Jan 15, 2020 15:56:14 GMT
My kids school is starting late again today due to snow and ice. I may never work a full day again. It’s a very busy time of year for my work. We have a major fundraising event next week so at least we’re getting the snow and ice out of the way now. Last year we ended up having to cancel it and it was..... a lot.
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Post by lrmrtn on Jan 15, 2020 16:03:45 GMT
cattitude, I'm glad you have a plan in place. Good luck, you're doing great!
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Post by athena on Jan 15, 2020 16:05:00 GMT
My kids school is starting late again today due to snow and ice. I may never work a full day again. It’s a very busy time of year for my work. We have a major fundraising event next week so at least we’re getting the snow and ice out of the way now. Last year we ended up having to cancel it and it was..... a lot. I remember you cancelling it. I'd wish your snow and ice would come here. It's in the 40s today and I really want an actual winter to start at some point. |
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Post by mrscheese on Jan 15, 2020 16:22:26 GMT
My kids school is starting late again today due to snow and ice. I may never work a full day again. It’s a very busy time of year for my work. We have a major fundraising event next week so at least we’re getting the snow and ice out of the way now. Last year we ended up having to cancel it and it was..... a lot. I remember you cancelling it. I'd wish your snow and ice would come here. It's in the 40s today and I really want an actual winter to start at some point. We should be back up to high 30’s and 40’s by Friday. Thank goodness. It’s been a skating rink here. Snow and ice and a lot of hills is not a good mix. They call Seattle the city of 7 hills for a reason. 😂 |
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Post by comicsans on Jan 15, 2020 16:36:34 GMT
I think the interpretation is you need us and we need you and you should check in when you can! But there’s a price on her friendship. 3 grand and she’ll think about it. |
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Post by rainbowsockmonkey on Jan 15, 2020 18:08:56 GMT
I sent a long email to the CPS coordinator at the MN Office of traffic Safety. I've been left out of the loop my the main southern CPS person. She isn't notifying me of checkup events, and is excluding me from info about upcoming classes. The final straw was her setting up a class at the end of May in a city located 45min away (where the closest Target is). I've mentioned to her in the past that that city is well within my travel range. Instead she is having an instructor come down from northern MN (4 hours away) tp assist with it. I also chatted with another instructor who taught the December class that I was kicked off of, and she has the same thoughts about not being in the loop about events. I also know of several techs in my area that refuse to work with the southern CPS person, with one of the reasons being that she is flaky and hard to get a hold of.
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